Eat. Sleep. Move. Dream. (and drink your water)

eat more protein. stay under 2000 calories. got to be over 2000 calories. eat vegan. save the whales. save the planet. flexibility is the most important thing as we age. don't forget the collagen, your face is collapsing. this bra really will help. this concealer really does work. try this move every day to finally be free of belly fat. do these ten exercises every morning to increase mobility, the most important thing as we age. stay away from dairy. oat milk is the dirtiest milk. only eat real sugar. grapes have so much sugar. coffee black is good for you. cut out coffee to erase wrinkles. use this app on your phone to cure your addiction to social media on your phone. did you see that documentary about pesticides. make a schedule and stick to it. stop trying to micromanage your life. sleep for at least eight hours. you can't make money if you sleep until eight am. wear whatever you want, it's your body. no not like that. ten things never to wear after 35. wear whatever you want at any size. lift heavy. muscle mass is the most important thing as we age. check your hormones. put snail mucin on your face. put acid on your face. do sudoku before bed, keeping our mind sharp is the most important thing as we age.

Enough. I am 47, I have known the calorie count of every bite I've put in my damn mouth since I was thirteen years old, I have been hauling around double F cups since 1996, and I am tired of being sold things. Just....enough. No one knows what the right thing is for you, because you are the only one in your body. You are the only one that knows what makes you feel good and what doesn't, and we have so many goddamn experts out there that we have lost the ability to trust ourselves. Also, I probably don't need to mention this at this point in the timeline, but a lot of people on the internet? Are big fat filthy liars.

Eat food that makes you feel good. Move your body in ways that you enjoy. Sleep enough to let your body and mind reset. Give yourself enough space for the things that give you joy and fulfill you. That's it.

It doesn't have to be a perfect plan. It doesn't have to be the same thing every day, or the same time every week. It doesn't have to mean never having one thing or only having another, and most importantly, it can be flexible. Because, as my brilliant bestie Carrie Anne once told me, "Life, man. It just keeps fucking happening." When the water heater breaks or the car dies or your cousin gets sick or there's mandatory overtime - that's okay. Maybe this isn't the week. Or the month. Or even the year. (I am sorry. I had to.) By simply being intentional around these things, we are setting ourselves up to succeed, long term. By simply being intentional, we are taking baby steps, and baby steps work.

I'll give you one example. I have terrible balance, and because of it had developed a genuine anxiety around stairs. I got to where I couldn't sit in upper rows at sports events or concerts or if I did, needed someone to hold my hand walking up and down them; it is infuriating and embarassing, and it makes me feel like a very old and fragile person. I do not like it.

A very common pose in yoga is the tree pose, where you put all of your weight on one leg and touch the sole of the other foot to the calf or thigh of the standing leg. I couldn't do it when I started, at all. I literally couldn't even stand with both feet on the floor and close my eyes without tipping over. I couldn't even cross one ankle over the other while standing, let alone lift my foot off the floor.

The thing is, though, no one expected me to be able to do tree pose. I had just been cut in half and almost died - of course I couldn't stand on one leg! Having the expectations removed, from others but mostly from myself, allowed me to celebrate seemingly tiny wins. For the past three years, I attempted tree pose on each leg while my coffee was brewing at night, or waiting for something to heat up, things like that. Notice I did not say, every single night. Some weeks I did it every single day, others maybe once or even not at all. I kept it in my mind, though, and I consistently kept it up. The most important thing? I didn't beat myself up about it not being perfect, or only being able to hold it for ten seconds. I was proud every time I went a little longer.

Some days I was back to square one, and did I get frustrated? I certainly did. Did I say fuck this, it's dumb anyway and doesn't make a difference? Also yes. But after some time had passed, I'd remind myself that one bad day doesn't erase all progress, and get back at it; it being this very small thing I was doing for three minutes a day.

My point? Last week, I watched my nieces overnight. Ives is occasionally referred to as the giant baby, as she still would prefer to be carried often but is not really a toddler any more at six years old. She was tired and having a tough time going to bed, and without thinking, I picked her up and walked her right up the stairs. No railing, no worry, no panic - just able to comfort this little girl I love so much. That? Was a big win. Was the three minute tree pose the only thing that made this possible? No, of course not. The consistency and mindset it took to keep practicing something that often felt like a half-ass attempt? That did it.

Eat. Sleep. Move. Dream.

When we don't box ourselves in with this all or nothing/right or wrong mentality, we take off nearly all the pressure, and when the wins are very small, even if it's "I didn't comment on that post that made me want to set everything on fire," it's still a win. That was a good thing for your mental health. Your brain is a tricky bitch in a lot of ways, but we're seeing more and more that science is proving out, "Your energy goes where your thoughts go." So just somewhere, in the back of your mind, keep those four words. They may not pop out every day. Maybe you only have the space for one right now - that's okay too. Maybe you only have thirty minutes to yourself if you're lucky and maybe you try to do one small, tiny thing a day - one day write down something that you're grateful for, or add a vegetable to one meal. It counts. It might only be one thing this week. Just keep it in your mind. That's literally it.

That's it. This website? Every single picture, post, and piece of this is the culmination of itsy bitsy teeny tiny pieces built on those four words. Some days the only intentional thing I did was listen to a five minute meditation, or wrote down one quote that I heard and liked, or on particularly bad days, got plenty of rest. A lot of those quotes are on all of those pretty Instagram pictures, which are all photos I took not particularly knowing why, only that I liked them and they made me smile. There were weeks (and I'm sure there will be more) where I didn't have the energy or the space or the mindset, and learning that that was not a failure allowed me to pick back up when I felt up to it without feeling like I was starting over.

Now, what you may be thinking here is "Ma'am I have seen your library of work and you are not all I aspire to be," and look, that is fair. It is also the single most freeing thing I have learned - stop trying to look like or eat like or work out like or think like or follow the same steps as someone else; you are not going to get the same result. You are working toward being the best version of you, and you are the only one that has the ability to find out how that works.

Your meal plan can change every day. You can switch up your exercise or movement whenever you want. You can pivot your dreams and aspirations as many times as you need to - it's your life. You only get this one, so you get to decide the things that make you happy, the things you want to spend your energy and time on, and what makes you feel good. What food makes your body and mind happy, what do you enjoy doing that involves moving your body, how much sleep you need, and what you want the rest of it to look like - that's all within you. You have all of that information, and you have the ability to make it work for you.

Eat. Sleep. Dream. Move. (And drink your water. It almost always helps.)